| after a moment of insanity i realized that i really don't have anything to be that upset about. im emo quite often now, and i think its easier for me to be emo than actually have to deal with people, people who have everything, and yet still find something to complain about, or something wrong with themselves. im so tired of everyone (including myself) being so self-centered, there is so much more to life (no matter how cliche or trite that sounds--its true). im tired of everyone around me hurting and turning into bitter, cynical people, that i know they do not want to be. im tired of men, being boys, and being idiots when someone wonderful is right in front of them, and who would totally do anything to have them smile in their direction. im tired of school, im tired of wondering whats next, im tired of being tired and miserable, and emo, and finding absolutely nothing joyous around me, but then crash, it hits me, after lying on floor of my room, crying about what is supposedly so hard, and so exhausting, and i wonder, what is it that i don't have. i have friends, who love me, even though sometimes we may see things quite differently, we still appriciate whatever the other one thinks. i have family, that would do anything for me. i have so many "things" that i do not even need. i have food, more sugar than i need, i have my sight, hearing, and everything else that lets me take in the world around me and run down the street laughing like a third grader, i have soo much more than i deserve, and i have God who never takes me for granted, even though i forget him more than once in a day. so i want to stop complaining, and find the joy, and be thankful for everything that i have, and stop complaining about what i don't have. i have enough, more than enough... why is so hard for me to see that. |
